It's Difficult To Not Be Complaining…

This morning I was sure that today’s post could only be a really whiny one. And I’m still in mostly a whiny mood, but I should start with some good news after all: The meds already show some effect. My cheek doesn’t feel that numb and I think my mouth isn’t that crooked anymore. I’m rather confident that all the symptoms will resolve over the next couple of days/weeks.
Good News #2: When I got home from the IVs this afternoon I found an Amazon US delivery, which I hadn’t expected so soon. Yay! I ordered the CDs last week and even though I choose a faster (and more expensive) shipping, I didn’t expected it before the beginning of November. Thanks to the $/EUR exchange rate in our favour I got two new CDs including shipping for 24,50 EUR. Awesome. And I can finally listen to the new Ingrid Michaelson album “Be OK” and I really like it. I have to check out the second CD later as well, “Down To Earth” from Jem.
And some more good news: This morning the temperature was around 7 °C, which is not necessarily good news, I know. But that made me get one of my favourite Canada souvenirs out of the closet to finally wear it. Ok, I also wore it to cheer me up.

canscarf 001

It reminded me of the wonderful trip and all the nice folks I met over there and if my brain wouldn’t be so scrambled at the moment, I would feel inclined to continue working on my vacation photo books, so that I might still get it to the Canada part before the year is over. I’m still stuck on my trip to Italy in April 2007 and I haven’t worked on these books for a long time now. There is no way I get any of that done within the year and especially not now, because my brain is just not up to it. To think and make decisions about how to arrange the photos on the pages and to lable them and all that. My brain doesn’t work that well right now. I’m surprised I’m even able to write about it in a hopefully coherent way. I guess after posting this I will retreat to reading the second book of a rather trivial german historical novel trilogy. Or just watch some of the many TV shows and movies I still got lying around. I can’t remember having watched that much TV within just a couple of days.

Besides my brain my whole body is still working in a switched down mode, which sucks. I always have such a hard time to get used to that. I usually walk rather fast paced, but right now all I can do is trudge like a 80 year old. I’m short of breath as soon as I exert myself just a little bit like. My apartement is a mess, but I just have to overlook that for the time being. Cleaning a sink full of dirty dishes was exhausting enough. The cortisone itself makes me tired but it also doesn’t let me get much sleep. After three nights with an average of 4,5 hours sleep, it’s no wonder my body can only function in a slow-motion mode. This morning I woke up at 4.15 AM and after laying awake for another hour my growling stomach drove me out of bad. I fixed myself a bowl of muesli and watched the latest episode of Private Practice. At 5.30 AM. Isn’t that pathetic?

Unrelated, but still bad news (just interesting für German folks, I guess): ZDF stopped working with Elke Heidenreich as from now. Stefan Niggemeier wrote a wonderful article on that. I’m not just pissed about that dismissal, because I like her, but mainly because it shows how degenerated our public broadcast already became. They try to adapt to the commercial stations, but that’s not the kind of program I want to pay for. And I’m forced to pay for public broadcast, so the least I expect is some sort of quality, informative, educational program. Who’s left now? Gottschalk, Kerner, Markus Lanz. ARGH! Not to mention I expect an adult way to deal with this and to discuss this in a grown up manner an not just kick one person out for speaking her mind. Media democracy and all..

Ok, now I’ve got that of my chest I will retreat back to resting and reading. And hopefully the view of a sunny autumn day from my window, will make up for the inability to enjoy this beautiful autumn day during a walk outside…

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