It’s a weird day today. I got about four and a half hour sleep last night and lay awake in bed for the reminder of the night. Heard the guy in the flat upstairs get up around 5.30 am, heard the birds sing and twitter, but also the wind and rain and snow outside. ARGH. It’s late March, it’s spring, why does this nasty winter weather have to return now. It stayed nasty till about an hour ago, when suddenly the sun beamed out of the clouds. Well at least it tried to beam. It looks lighter outside. Question is: For how long….?
Even though I’m lacking a lot of sleep I’m feeling not too bad today. Drugged up, but at least not too listless and not too hyper. Something in between, which feels strange, but might actually help to get some minor things done. Prepare my income tax return and things like that. Send some mails. Easy stuff… I’m even up to reading again, which I couldn’t get myself to do the days before. Because my brain was either too tired or too busy with other thoughts. The things some meds do to you. But I have the feeling that the meds are actually helping, so I shouldn’t complain… I’m afraid they will have to take another vein tomorrow though, which sucks. I’m left-handed and prefer to have the IV on my right arm, but it looks like the inside of my arm around the vein is starting to bruise. I guess I’ll have to wait what the medical assistent thinks about that tomorrow…
During the waking hours this morning I suddenly thought about some LOST stuff. Don’t ask me why…
But I suddenly asked myself in whate state of life and more important what “time” Christian Shepherd and John Locke actually are at the moment. They were dead. And now they are alive again. But are they really?!?! I mean they must be in some sort, because they can be seen and heard, but are they really alive?
More importantly I wonder if Christian (and consequently Locke as well) is bound to these timeshifts on the island like Sawyer, Juliet etc were, when the island was moving through time. Or can he move through time on his own? Because he was there in 2004 after the crash while the Losties where there. And he was there in 19something, when Locke climbed down to turn that wheel and stop the island moving. Was that already 1974 (1977 minus the three years that have passed yet). And he is there in the early 1980ies when Sun and Frank meet him at the baracks. How on earth did he survive on his own during all these years? Or doesn’t he need to survive, because he is not really alive anymore? How does he know so much about the island in the first place? Early on I thought he never was dead and that he actually was “Jacob” or that he always had some other sort of relation to Dharma/The Others/the island. But I’m not so sure about that anymore… But I just don’t know who and what he actually is. And what happened to Claire by the way?
Just as intriguing is the question: What did dying and returning to the island do to Locke? Is he some”thing” / some”one” like Christian now? What on earth are they? And why on earth did I think about that at 5.00 am in the morning?
By the way: In the time it took me to write this entry, it started to rain again… :-(