Yes, I'm still alive and today I'm even writing… :-)

I wanted to write this blog post since Monday afternoon, but I just never got around to do so. Even tonight I was tempted to postpone it for another day, but I have quite a few things scheduled or planned tomorrow and I was afraid this post would stay unwritten for another day. I don’t even have anything important to write about, just lots and lots of everyday madness. More than usual probably, otherwise I would have gotten around writing this post early than late Friday night..
I’m once again kind of busy at work. Not in the sense of a huge amount of work to do, but in the sense of a variety of different smaller tasks, which I have to coordinate and most of all keep track of. I am usually good at organizing and coordinating, but this time this stuff just wears me down. I spent all of my Tuesday evening to finish an urgent job from my “home office”. At least someone else offered to take over planning and organizing the event, I complained about last week. And I’m grateful for that, because on Monday I realized that I messed up another job I had to do. Messed up big time. At least that’s what it felt like to me even though looking back on it, it wasn’t really that bad and there was no harm done and I could fix it all. But it still upset me. I was working so thoroughly on all but one aspects of the job and … Boom! I messed that one up. Like I said, there was no harm done and everyone involved probably forgot my mishap within minutes. Not me, though, I was beating myself up for the rest of the day. I’m just one of those persons who can’t  let it got, when they mess up. But at least I’m over it by now :-)

Besides work I was insanely busy with various stuff of my local Greens. We have local elections coming up and we still hadn’t put up our elections posters around town. So that’s what I basically spent doing Monday night, yesterday evening and a couple of hours this afternoon. There is some other election campaigning stuff I’ll have to take care of and I will have to do that on the weekend. I was actually planning to do some of the stuff tonight, but there is no way I could concentrate on that tonight.

Even though the week was busy and parts of it sucked, there also were upsides. I finally started my Kieser Workout again and I was quite happy that I didn’t have to reduce any of the training weights after not working out for almost 8 weeks. My body didn’t even feel sore or tired throughout the whole day (I went to the gym on Tuesday morning). But my arms were pretty sore on Wednesday morning :-) Anyway it felt good to start working out again.
Another thing keeping my spirits up is… Johnny Blue, my iPod. It took a few attempts, but I worked out how to scrobble my iPods playlist to my last.fm playlist. Ever since I signed up with last.fm it was bothering me, that the songs I listened to on my mp3 player weren’t included in my last.fm profile’s playlist. There were days on which I hardly listened to music at home but a listened to a lot of music on my mp3 player on my way to work and back. My last.fm profile just wasn’t 100% acurate. This all changed the moment Johnny Blue came into my life :-) I bought some decent in-ear-headphones on Monday and now I just have to figure out a way how to store it all in my bag without the cord getting entangled.

In June I had discovered the band “Blue October” and bought all three albums, but have to admit that I hadn’t listen to their music attentively for a while now. I liked the sound of some of the songs and of course I loved “Calling You”. Thanks to Johnny Blue I can finally listen to music again while I’m on the train or just walking to the station, the store or just am out and about. So I listened to Blue October a lot and I really like them a lot, because their range of music is quite wide. There is “Calling You” which is catchy and kind of trendy, but there also are songs which sound more like Linkin Park. I really like that. And I have to admit I feel a somewhat kinky fascination for the rather dark and troubeld lyrics. Not so much in the way that I can relate to the emotions per se and for myself, because I’m not that “dark & twisty” *g* But the songs definitely manage to transmit these emotions perfectly. One of my favourite songs is “Hate Me” which contains the following lyrics

I’m sober now for 3 whole months, it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
And in a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

Pretty heavy stuff, right? I wasn’t sure how much of these songs are based on true stories and emotions of the singer/songwriter Justin. I thought if it all were true, he must be a very troubled person. Well, according to various websites (wikipedia and such), he definitely was. Or still is. Bipolar disorder and all. You should think that songs like these would drag me down when I had such a lousy week, but they don’t. Maybe it’s a “Hey, someone is feeling so much worse than you” thing, that’s cheering me up :-)

Earlier this week on twitter I read about Brandi Carlile’s new tour and I tried to find out if she also might come to Germany this year. Which she won’t. But “Blue October” will! Yay! And I thought it was a long shot, when I typed the band’s name into the search box on the ticketshop website *g* But they’ll be in Cologne on 28th September and so will I. Yay! That was just the cheering up I needed.
I was also cheered up and could unwind and relax wonderfully with the Outlander series. I finished book 5 yesterday late at night and I guess I will carry book 6 (the last one published so far) around in my bag for the next two week as well. To read on the train to work, during lunch break, on the way back home, in the waiting area at the doctor’s practice…. And for another half hour (or more) right now, after I will have finished this post…

2 Comments

  1. Blue October has more than three albums. I recommend picking up all of them, especially the live album “Argue With a Tree.” Their albums are:

    The Answers (1998)
    Consent to Treatment (2000)
    History For Sale (2003)
    Argue With a Tree [Live] (2004)
    Foiled (2006)
    Teach Your Baby Well [Live] (2007)
    Approaching Normal (2009)

  2. Well, these three (Approaching Normal, Foiled, History For Sale) were the only ones that were available for me in Germany/Europe. But I might try to get my hands on the other ones too.

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