Twitter Favourites, December 2013

Before I head out to celebrate New Year’s Eve, I wanted to leave you with some of my Twitter Favourites from this last month….

„Das Update braucht min. 50% Akkurestzeit.“ —
Aufm iPad, das noch über 8 Stunden Video abspielen kann? Wasn das fürn Update? Weltformel?

— suz (@skeptikantin) December 4, 2013

Teenagers, I now understand why some animals eat their young! LOL
— Luanne Uttley (@wearenotmissing) December 6, 2013

Entweder die Nachbarn haben Sex oder nebenan kämpfen grad zwei Yorkshire-Terrier um ihr Schleifchen.
— Draußen nur Kännchen (@dieliebenessy) December 7, 2013

Breaking news: it’s 48 degrees and raining in LA. Tragically, the entire entertainment industry has died of exposure.
— Krista Vernoff (@KristaVernoff) December 8, 2013

My kid just got her hair stuck in velcro. I’m a good parent because I laughed QUIETLY.
— Casey Carey-Brown (@lifewithRoozle) December 9, 2013

External Conversation: “Sam, who is your favorite dangerous woman?”
Internal Monologue: “Don’t say ‘your mom.'”
— Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) December 10, 2013

Thoughts and prayers with the people of Washington, DC today as they deal with 2-3 inches of snow. Just know that you are in our hearts.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) December 10, 2013

A man just walked into my deli holding a unicycle. Please supply a suitable punch line
— Alan Cumming (@Alancumming) December 15, 2013

Today in 1773 was the Boston Tea Party. Angry colonists boarded a ship and demanded that George Washington prove he wasn’t born in Kenya.
Disalmanac (@Disalmanac) December 16, 2013

When I hear “10 years ago” I think about the 90’s, not 2003.
— Guy Codes (@codesforguys) December 19, 2013

I now completely understand what it was like to live in Pioneer oldie times because I just got a rental car with no GPS.
— Lauren Graham (@thelaurengraham) December 20, 2013

If I were a starving ballerina and there were a couple of dancing candy canes in front of me, The Nutcracker would end differently.
— Anna Halligan (@AnnamalHalligan) December 22, 2013

I think if Jesus were alive today he’d say be kind, think of others, wear a condom and don’t vote just with your wallet. I just know it.
— Alan Cumming (@Alancumming) December 24, 2013

Toddler got an Indiana Jones costume. Spent half an hour teaching him to say “it belongs in a museum!” & “I’ve got a bad feeling about this”
— Kiera Docherty (@kieradocherty) December 25, 2013

I feel like I’ve done a decent job of preparing my boys for future Ikea furniture encounters, one Lego set at a time.
— undomesticdiva (@undomesticdiva) December 26, 2013

Someone seriously needs to invent a car that can shake itself off like a dog before pulling into the garage covered in snow/slush.
— Shannon Gilmartin (@McDreamyBiker) December 27, 2013

Kiddo asks questions about the Rose Bowl, fraternities and sex, within an hour. I need a drink. He needs to watch less tv.
— Erin Charlton (@lainey_vb131) December 29, 2013

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