I forgot to make this list at the end of March, so this one got twice as long as it usually would. ;-)
Mein Hobby: die Daseinsberechtigung von Städten an ihren Bahnhöfen festmachen. Hannover hat ein Problem.
— suz (@skeptikantin) March 4, 2014
romeo & juliet (2013) j: lol where r u romeo r: wana come over? j: cant r: y? j: idk parents r: lets kill ourself j: lol k r: swag — Alan Garner (@AlanHungover) March 6, 2014
Denken ist wie googlen, nur krasser.
— Elyas M´Barek (@Elyas_MBarek) March 19, 2014
If there’s a German word for “retreating further into your convictions in the name of being open-minded,” I’d love to hear it. — Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) March 22, 2014
Another day of legislative news & still NO ONE cares about making it a law that all books in a series be labeled/numbered clearly as such.
— Zoot (@misszoot) March 25, 2014
You had me at the proper use of “you’re.” — Eliah McCutchen (@seliahm) March 26, 2014
I remember when we used to look up movie times in the newspaper. Does anyone still want to be my friend?
— Kristen Bell (@IMKristenBell) March 28, 2014
Clocks go forward tonight. = Tomorrow morning I’ll spend 30mins wondering if I’ve had more, less or the same sleep as usual.
— Kiera Docherty (@kieradocherty) March 29, 2014
Today I learned the names for different screw drivers. Who knew the names weren’t the square, star, and line one?! — Sean Boyle (@seanboyle) April 6, 2014
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments we sigh because oh my god it’s only 3pm. I am 80 years old.
— Anna Halligan (@AnnamalHalligan) April 10, 2014
“follow your dreams” sounds way too easy….ya gotta drag them up 50 flights of stairs like a 150 pound suitcase. — MILONAKIS (@AndyMilonakis) April 12, 2014
Now in NZ, having lost 24 hours. If you find a Saturday with football, sleeping on a sofa, some messing about with dogs, it’s mine.
— Hugh Laurie (@hughlaurie) April 12, 2014
In Wirklichkeit macht Schokolade gar nicht glücklich. Vielmehr macht keine Schokolade unglücklich. — Lars Fischer (@Fischblog) April 14, 2014
THE NEW 10 COMMANDMENTS 1 Laugh. 2 Read. 3 Say please. 4 Floss. 5 Doubt. 6 Exercise. 7 Learn. 8 Don’t hate. 9 Cut the bullshit. 10 Chill.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 20, 2014
I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
— 40 oz of Horror (@Raider40oz) April 23, 2014
Beim Wäscheaufhängen grüble ich genervt darüber, warum Kinder so klein sein müssen, dass 100 T-Shirts und 300 Socken in eine Maschine passen
— Gebbi Gibson (@GebbiGibson) April 24, 2014
What if it turned out that being on Twitter all day wasn’t actually a real job?
— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 28, 2014
Immer wenn Oliver Kahn versucht zu lächeln, fängt irgendwo ein Kind an zu weinen.
— Gebbi Gibson (@GebbiGibson) April 29, 2014