Miscellaneous… on a Friday Evening

Another week has passed. How did that happen? And July is as good as over as well. WTF? I think, I’m in a real need for a break. A few more days to get away for a 3-day-weekend. I’ve also got Monday/Tuesday off work after that, but Tuesday I’ll have dentist appointment, so that’s not going to be fun and relaxing. But still… days off!

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I’m (once again) thinking about what to do with this tiny space of mine here on the internet. I know, that I don’t blog as much as I used to. And it’s weird, because there are things I think I would love to share and discuss (or at least put up for discussion), but I’ve become so timid about it all. Maybe because I don’t think anyone is actually interested in reading it? I hardly check the visitor stats for this blog, mostly because it’s kind of depressing ;-). I never started to blog to gather a large audience, but having just a handful of visitors it’s still not exactly an ego boost, if you know what I mean. I really should stop over thinking it all. I didn’t, when I started blogging and I guess, even less people read it back then.

Anyway, every once in a while I cautiously consider writing a post about more personal stuff that’s on my mind. Health and work and family and all. Not all troublesome stuff per se, but still things I think about. A lot. Too much, probably. Writing about my fears and dreams and the battle to not let my low self-esteem drag me down into the bottomless pit of anxiety and self-loathing. But I have no idea where I should even start with it all. And after all there is the underlying (or overshadowing?) fear of opening up too much to the (mostly) unknown people who might read it.

I have no idea at what point in my “interacting on the internet” life I lost the innocence to just got and and interact. And connect. Or whatever… *sigh*

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I was determined to not read another Jojo Moyes novel next, but to instead finally finish some of the other books I had started reading a few weeks ago. But I admit those didn’t really interest me at the moment. I wasn’t really drawn to the two novels Jojo wrote recently (besides the ones I already read) so I chose one of her earlier ones. It has horses, which will be a kind of a change for me *g*. I’ve never been a girl interested in riding or horses and I don’t know how much of the novel will deal with it. The title’s “The Horse Dancer”, so… *g*

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Bro3 is hosting the annual Fun Darts Tournament / Barbeque / Garden Party tomorrow and I’m really looking forward to it. It’s usually a lot of fun, good food, booze and all that comes with it. There also will be family friends who I haven’t seen in a while, so that’s going to be nice.
We spent quite a bit of time this afternoon getting things ready and one of the highlights every year is watching him baking some special kind of bread. Because it never works as planned. And yes, that’s mostly his own fault, because he’s not really experienced in the kitchen. He’s a good sport about it though and I didn’t laugh at him. Just with him. At least that’s what I’m telling myself… ;-)

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