And I’ve nothing to say in my defense
I’m far from perfect and I’m still tense
(Imperfect Tense ~ Frank Turner, 2008)
Ugh! I had really hoped that the weekend away with some friends would help me to relax and more importantly to get my head together and to slow down the constant nagging voice in my head, which tells me I should do this or that and be more productive and to for Heaven’s sake to stop dawdling around so much.
And as much fun as that weekend had been and as calm and relaxed I had felt during all of it, once I was back in the every-day-treadmill of work and stuff, I felt a bit overwhelmed with parts of work and life and continued to dawdle. Or to procrastinate. Or whatever it is that I seem to be doing. Not all the time. But much more than necessary.
Every other day I make a new plan to do better on the next day, but by now I think I try to do better in too many different aspects of my life. And of course that doesn’t work out. And I fail with this plan. And then I question the plan itself and ask myself, why I even bother. Ugh! Stupid, stupid nagging voice in my head. Anyway, I’m at least putting some of this into words here and will hit publish in a few minutes for what it’s worth.
Other random tidbits from the last couple of days (which I always fear might be longer than 140 characters and thus not tweet-able, so they get lost).
I’m going to see Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls on stage again in six days! Yay! Bare any heavy thunderstorm on that night night, that is. They’ll be playing at a free inner city festival in Cologne on Sunday and I’m really looking forward to it!
I started to use myfitnesspal App to keep track of my food (choices) and to keep it below a certain calories intake. So far I’ve been quite successful and already lost a bit of weight over the past two weeks. “Knowing” that this chocolate bar is bad for you (but eating it anyway) and seeing it’s calories added up to what you’ve already been eating throughout the day are two very different things…
It’s soooo nice to realize, that the friend you are reaching out to after having lost touch for a couple of years, is more than willing to re-connect as well.
It can be quite satisfying to see that your stealthy way of changing lanes on a busy inner city road pays off and you whiz past 25 cars stuck on the other lane. I may or may not have whooped aloud in my car when that happened this afternoon ;-)