Random thoughts of the evening…
Here’s another evening on which I do all kinds of random, insignificant stuff instead of the things I should be doing. *sigh* I’m too easily distracted, damn it. No idea how I will ever get to the bottom of the figurative pile of mundane houshold chores that I’m postponing to do.
There are just too many things on my mind at the moment and I have no idea how to get a grip on any of them. Every so often I tell myself I need to be more mindful and I need to remember all the tools and tricks to be more mindful and then I still don’t. It’s kind of pathetic.
I didn’t do as much NaNo Prep so far as I would have loved to do. Still haven’t really figured out some of the basic elements of my novel. I have a cool idea (at least I think it’s cool), but still haven’t figured out if I’ll be able to pull it off if I have just one narrator / POV, like I had originally intended to.
One of the upsides of my personal NaNo Prep is the insight I get into my own weird mind. I’m once again reminded of the “Procrastination Equation”, a book I’ve started reading a dozen times and never finished reading or working through. But there is one things I remember from the book and that I recognize in my thought process about NaNoWriMo at the moment. The paralysing fear that something I do/create won’t be perfect or won’t be good enough or won’t be worth anything. So why bother start doing / creating it in the first place? And that’s such a stupid, stupid, self-destructive thing to think.
The wonderful Anne Lamott said and wrote some wonderful things about writing and life and such. One of the wise things about writing, which I will have to remind myself of till the end of November is, that every (great) piece of literature starts with a “shitty first draft”. You just have to sit down and write it. And then re-write it and re-write it until it’s a good piece. It’s such a simple thing to say, but so hard to do for me to follow through, at least when it comes to creative writing. I know NaNoWriMo is about exactly that, just sit down and write and don’t think about editing or re-writing and such. I hope I will be ready to ignore my inner critic’s voice from 1st November on, because it won’t be much fun otherwise.