“I can’t stand being the person that I’ve been…”
Josephine ~ Frank Turner, 2015
I’ve been feeling weird these past few days. It might just be due to this stupid head cold still lingering everywhere in my body. It might be due to not getting enough sleep. (Even though I try to go bed early-ish every freaking evening. I never really manage to). It might be due to some frustration over work. Frustration over myself mostly, because I feel weird and thus unproductive. I’m going in circles, right? Ugh, I hate that.
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Yesterday I’ve booked the first of two necessary train trips for “my” Frank Turner tour in January. Yay! This also means that the first gigs are less than 90 days away. You can’t book train tickets more than 3 months in advance on German National Rail. Just now I realized that there’s a huge new-ish shopping mall next to the venue in Bremen. The hotel I booked right after I bought the ticket is just a few yards further. Which means I can spend the time before the gig hanging out in a mall. And walk back to my bed in less than 10 minutes after the gig. Don’t think I’ve ever slept that close to a venue before ;-)
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A few weeks ago I thought I might want to try and have a go at NaNoWriMo again this year. I had a vague idea for kind of a young adult / roadtrip story. I never really felt the writing bug with this characters or plot though. It stayed a vague idea, even though I even sat down and watched a very interesting Youtube tutorial about how to structure your plot with the seven-point-story-structure idea. But then I never really started plotting. Maybe because I was too busy or too ill or felt too weird or maybe because the story bits I had come up with didn’t really interest me?
On my way back home from work today though Frank Turner’s “Josephine” came up on my iPod and I suddenly had an idea for a quite different story. Not a real plot yet, just some rather vague ideas. Kind of the comic fantasy genre like Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next series. I’m not sure yet if this train of thought will lead anywhere. I know that I won’t do NaNoWriMo with the forementioned roadtrip idea, so if I want to do it all, I should spend some thoughts on this new idea. Or maybe don’t plan it all that much and just pants my way through it. I don’t know. I like the odd feeling of creative inspiration though. For whatever this will be worth in the end…
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I’m already a bit behind catching up with the current episodes of the few shows I’m still watching. I totally blame Netflix. Or better “Orange Is The New Black”. It took me a while to get into the whole story and I have to admit I still don’t know if I like Piper all that much. But all in all the characters and the stories are fascinating. Not all in a good way, but I guess that’s just the ugly truth of life in prison….
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Every time I partake in a Twitter Q&A with some of my favourite artists or get into a conversation with them somehow on Twitter and manage to get a reply from them, I’m a bit freaked out by how these few tweets get a life of their own and are re-tweeted or marked as favourite and my notification tab explodes. And it messes with the way I usally use Twitter and I think “Next time, just lean back, watch, enjoy and don’t try to get a word in”. But then I never do ;-)
— Susanne D (@dennasus) October 20, 2015
— Sam Heughan (@SamHeughan) October 20, 2015
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This week seems to be the week I learn to just be ok with the fact that artists (writers, mostly this week) might see issues differently from myself. I see them state their case and argue their way all around Twitter, because it’s obviously important to them. And I’m sitting here and either thinking “No, I don’t see it that way” or “Whatever”, if it’s an issue not close to my heart.
For a heartbeat I was wondering if this unspoken disagreement about some issues changes the way I see them. If it weakens my admiration for them. Or if it even should. Wondering if I’ll be able to see past that and just ignore the tweets; not in a disregarding way, just in an overlooking them for my peace of mind way. I think I am.
As much as I might like my artists to think like me or be like me (Or probably rather the other way around: Maybe I want to think and be like them…?), it’s ok if I don’t agree with everything they say or do. I knew it is, of course, and I normally always could and can see the art I love apart from the artist and also see the artist as person apart from some of their statements. But this week just reminded me of that once again… Does that make any sense to anyone :-)?