Lately, I’ve been feeling kind of fragile.
Lately, I’ve been feeling all worn out
(Faithful Son ~ Frank Turner, 2009)
These lyrics fit best at the moment. Again. At the beginning of the month I wrote a long post about politics and I think I led in with how I want to write more posts in November. Hahahahaha… Here I am. So knackered most evenings when I get home from work that all I feel able to do watch something on Netflix. Things I’ve watched before because I don’t think my mind can handle new input at the moment. Catch up with online stuff. Mind numbing activities in a way, but all my mind can handle. At least that what it feels most nights. I’d be worried that this kind of mental fatigue is something more serious, if there wasn’t anything to catch my interest even when I’m tired. I’ve read all four huge (it’s JK Rowling after all) “Cormoran Strike” novels in about two weeks just now. Not having done much else all weekend long, but at least my mind isn’t so tired, that a good story can’t hold it’s interest.
I know I’m exhausted because I’m not getting enough sleep. And because I worry too much again. Mostly about work stuff and probably worrying for nothing, but I’m juggling a few big balls at the moment and the various smaller projects and task that still need to be dealt with on a regular basis sadly don’t magically disappear. There are rather more impromptu “sorry, we need that draft till noon” tasks coming in on top of all that. And when I feel too overwhelmed my organizing brain seems to shut down and I loose track and it feels chaotic. Which in turn makes me question my abilities and make me worry and…. the circle starts over again.
I need a vacation. There is no real relaxing one the horizon yet though, so I’ll muddle through and make do. Trying to get on track with a few more healthy habits. Cut out the snacks and junk food. Hydrate. Get out during the day so I can catch some sunlight. Try to get a decent amount of sleep.
16 more days till I’ll be by the sea – the English Channel to be precise – for a few hours. Breathe. Relax. Recharge…