Lately I’ve been feeling kind of fragile,
Lately I’ve been feeling all worn out…
(Faithful Son ~ Frank Turner, 2009)
The ‘worn out’ part is easily explained by a) not getting enough sleep during a regular week and b) worrying too much about all kinds of things. Again! Ugh! It’s always the same: I’m doing fine for a while, all confident (at least as confident as I ever feel) and then all of a sudden various things change. Or not really change, but feel different. And I start worrying too much again. The good things though is, that I’m taking better care of myself at least sometimes. On Tuesday I was feeling sort of light-headed at work and couldn’t really focus. I clocked off at the earliest possible time, went home, hade something to eat and went to bed before 20:00. I slept for glorious nine hours, so I guess I needed that. I’m glad I managed to catch up on sleep this weekend as well. Self care in small steps, but they are steps regardless.
Some other things my messed up mind on first glance might consider self-care after a long day at work and feeling stressed, is too much junk food (pizza) and icecream. Lovely to indulge in for the moment, but…. yeah, not good! I had sort of a wake up call, when I stepped on my scales on Saturday. I very well knew I had put on most of the weight I had lost over the last two years as the tight fit of some of my trousers were fool proof evidence. But that number on the scale scared me a little, as I hadn’t seen that one for a long time. At least that was what finally motivated me to pick up my My Peak Challenge Workout again. Starting over again. Let’s focus on the starting, ok? It takes me such a long time each morning (or any other time really) to actually get on with it, and once I’m at it and especially once I’ve completed it I feel so good about it and about myself, that I don’t quite understand how I can always put it off for so long. But at the moment I still go through the “Ugh, I don’t want to” cylce of thougts more often than not. Anyway, I worked out this morning and plan to repeat that tomorrow morning as well. Putting it down here to make me somewhat accountable I guess.
Other than working out and doing the most basic chores I’ve been pretty lazy and a hermit this weekend. Well, I did go to a lovely concert with my best friend on Friday night, but Saturday and Sunday I only went out to get groceries and otherwise stayed back home on my sofa. Yesterday I spent too much time “in my head”, I think, but in the evening I started binging “The Good Fight” and I’ve also started reading a lovely new novel “The Flat Share” yesterday, so this what was most of my Sunday looked like: Intervals of TV and Reading. Not talking to anyone. Sometimes work makes me feel “all talked out”, so a hermit weekend is what I need to recharge.
Two more days at work before I’m taking a miny midweek break to head down south for my last Frank Turner & the Sleeping Souls show this summer. It’s been nice to have a “one Frank show per month” summer this year and I’m especially looking forward to this one on Wednesday. Full band and full set (as in not a festival show). And then it’ll be only 3.5 more month till I’ll travel across the Channel for some more shows. And who knows what 2020 will bring in that regard :-)