24.02.2020 | Some Thoughts By The Sea

And the only things that hold me back are things I hold inside,
The ocean is still out there, magnificent and wide.
(Sailor’s Boots ~ Frank Turner, 2011)

I’ve checked out of the hotel, stored my bag in my car and am now sitting in the beach cafe for a last view of the sea. Though to be honest there is too much clutter on the terrace and such to have a clear good view of the sea. But it’s the thought that matters. I’m so glad I decided to come here this weekend on a whim. The weather wasn’t the best, so I didn’t spend all that much time at the beach, because a storm was raging for quite a bit of time I was here. But just the change of scenery did wonders for my mind and sould regardless. Getting around 8 hours of sleep each night didn’t hurt either. Once again I realise I need more sleep during the week and I hope I will be reasonable enough to enforce a better sleep regime back home as well. 

Being away from all the usual distractions or rather procrastinations at home was  a good thing as well. I think. I hope. This weekend I could spend some thoughts on some issues and even though I still might not have answers or solutions to those, I think I might be on a good way to finding them. This sounds all awfully vague, I know. It’s all about habits and behaviour I like to change. Or I should change. That kind of stuff.  Negative Thinking or Self-Talk for one thing. Last week my supervisor told me about 9 (very) good things about me and one not so good thing. And of course my mind latches on that one negative thing and forgets about all the other good stuff he said. Ugh! It’s exhausting and I’d like to change that, without disregarding that the negative thing needs improving. But so much more doesn’t! Why is it so hard for me to find the right balance? 

Yesterday while the storm was raging outside I went to the hotel pool. I swam a bit, I read a bit, I swam some more. I should put swimming on my exercise list, once my busy mind and days let me get back into a regular workout regime, which – of course -it hasn’t after that one day where I started so hopefully with My Peak Challenge a few weeks ago. That’s another of those behaviours I’d like to dissect a bit. In 2018 I did well with MPC, compared to other times I’ve tried working out more. I did the work, I ate better, I felt better, I did go out and do more hikes and all. When did I lose that drive? And how do I get it back? 

One more: I miss writing for this blog. But on the other hand I have no idea what to write about. Over the xmas holidays I went through all my posts to set some which I thought gave away too much private information into private mode or delete it. I realized I wrote a lot more back then in the early days. I think Twitter / Instagram changed a bit of that, but still… I have this space here to share some of my random/ insignificant / meaningful – take your pick – thoughts. Why not use it more? Add that to the long list of things I want to think about. Someday….   



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