30.03.2020 | Little Changes…

So far from OK, tongue-tied and afraid,
The big things stay the same,
Until we make
Little changes.
(Little Changes ~ Frank Turner, 2018)

Some accountability, some random thoughts…

Sleep vs Activity | Not as much sleep as I had liked. I went to bed too late as I wanted to finish the book I was reading. I definitely need to do better today. Not much activity either, I went out to the supermarket twice today and the walking from car park and inside was most of it. Maybe I’ll feel motivated to actually fit in a real workout tomorrow. 

Coffee & Chocolate | Two cups maybe. Some of the cups I drank all day got cold, so I dumped them. No chocolate, but crisps. Quite a few. This morning I thought about not refilling my stock of snacks & sweets, but later I thought: Fuck it! I need some of that in these crazy days. I just also need to be more active, so I don’t feel too bad about it all. And to not gain pound after pound. 

Work vs Worrying | I was moderately productive this morning and a bit after lunch. I talked to my supervisor on the phone and I don’t want to say I “snapped”, but I realized I was once again too tense and anxious about stuff. It was a good talk, but when I mentioned how the prospect of having to stay in isolation for much longer (high-risk patient and all) than most people, I got emotional as in sad and angry and frustrated. I was close to crying and I hate that I’m so weepy these days. I didn’t get any stuff done after. And that wasn’t my supervisor’s fault, it was just me being weird.  

Lists | I wrote down a bunch of minuscule chores I want to get done the next few days. Or rather chores in minuscule steps. I might add stuff to it over the next few days. Or not. Next to it I wrote a list of stuff I did today, even it wasn’t on the list. No idea if that’s a useful system to get things done. I did three of the seven items I had written down. Add the two things I also did even though I hadn’t planned them and this feels like sort of a productive day. Little changes…

Outlander | OMG. Now finally that was an episode I… well, enjoyed probably isn’t the right word as there was some sad and tragic stuff happening. The first one (Murtagh) I didn’t see coming. I probably should have, because they had to end the plot somewhere. I was still in shock and woah, how amazing was Sam Heughan in these scenes? The episode’s end didn’t shock me as much as I had read the books, so I knew it was coming. I also know what will come after, so… It was still a mean thing to end it on that :-) 

Zoom | I’m late to the party, but I had my first video call on Zoom today. The first video call ever actually maybe? Yes, I’m an ancient dinosaur when it comes to this kind of technology. But it was a lovely chat with a friend and her twin girls. We might do that again sometime soon.  


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