For almost a week I’m planning to write this blog post and never got around to do it. I was either too busy or too tired to actually write it. I hate being too busy or too tired to blog. Not that I have a lot to write about at the moment except moping about how stressful my life is, but I’d still like to be able to at least write about that. I hope that part of the stress will be over tomorrow, even though I already thought the stress would lighten on several occasions before now and that never happened. But I don’t want to give up hope anyway :-)
The past weeks have kept me busy with our Green election campaign, but the local elections are finally going to take place in my federal state tomorrow, so all of this work is done. Hopefully with a good result for us, but I really can’t make any prediction yet. We’ll have to wait until tomorrow evening to know how it all turned out for us. We only get a short break, well no break actually, because we have to keep campaigning for the federal elections at the end of September. But that’s not going to be such a workload than the local campaign. All of it will still keep me busy at work as well, but I’m still confident hopeful that the stress will lighten a bit after tomorrow. It just has to.
I am really looking forward to my short vacation at the sea (September 20th – 24th). Only three more weeks to go. And when I get back from that I’ll be able to watch Grey’s again. Yay. Just a little less than four weeks. And just a little more than four weeks until I see “Blue October” in concert. I’ve really gotten hooked on that band and I can’t explain for sure why. I don’t really have to explain it, but I was wondering about that myself recently and that’s what I basically wanted to write about. Well, to be honest I just wanted to use that songtitle as a title for a blog post, because it seemed to fit my current situation perfectly :-). I’m having more downs at the moment, at least it feels like it, with all that’s going on and the way I once again tend to take a lot of things to personally and think too much and question myself too much.
But there also are the ups like visiting my two favourite german actors on the set of their new TV film. I probably have mentioned before that I’m running a fan-website about those two for more than 10 years now. Due to my stressful life with jobs and politics and grad school I’m not updating the page as much as I did in the beginning, but I’m still running it and trying to at least have the upcoming TV appearances and information about current projects and all up-to-date. And even though I’m still a big fan, I have to admit that the whole “OMG I’m going to meet my favourite TV star” excitement wore off after a couple of years :-) But of course I still really like to meet them every once in a while and chat a bit and I’m still a bit nervous, when I do *g* And I also I still find it rather interesting to witness a TV series/movie being shot. It’s always fascinating because it’s such a different world. I also have to admit that my – sometimes fragile – ego enjoys the privileges to be able to visit them on set. So that’s what I did for a couple of hours on Wednesday afternoon and I had a really wonderful time. Definitely an “up” moment.
It was a good thing that I declared that day my “food/meals day off” for the “Game On!” as I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the schedule or get only sanctioned food. I didn’t indulge at all, but actually had 4 sanctioned meals pretty much on schedule and just replaced meal 4 with a few scoops of delicious icecream on the TV set. So all was well. I’m doing quite well on the “Game On!” diet so far, even though the stressful life takes it toll on that too. I’m still on track though.
But I once again got totally off track while writing this blog post. I guess I’m out of practice writing coherent posts. I wanted to write about “Blue October”. When I was walking around my neighbourhood for hours last weekend distributing our electoral campaign leaflets I listened to a lot of their music on my iPod. Distributing leaflets is a rather simple and monotonous job, so nothing kept my attention from really listening to the music and lyrics. Some more of the songs (except “Calling You” and “Hate Me”, which I wrote about a few weeks ago) really got to me and I started to wonder why.
It might be, because I can relate to some of the emotions Justin (the singer and songwriter) is singing about. Not to all of them and most probably not to the extent he is experiencing these emotions, but the basic feeling of insecurities and self-loathing is something I can relate to, because I have experienced them as well. Another factor might be that he sings these songs with quite a lot of emotion, at least it feels like that to me. That he exactly knows what he is singing about, because those songs are rather personal. Or at least they seem pretty personal to me and from what I’ve read about him (bipolar disorder and all) I’m sure most of the songs really are.
But there are not just songs about insecurities and self-loathing, but also wonderful love songs (like “Calling You”) or a song for/about his daughter (“Blue does”) which of course is very personal as well, but in a really good way. And then there are songs about just being true to yourself (“Inner Glow”) and of course the song which made me write this post in the first place. Maybe because I’ve never heard that phrase before, but I think it’s just perfect. Simple and so true. I really like the lyrics
You gotta to hold your head up high and watch all the negative go by.
Don’t ever be ashamed to cry. You go ahead!
‘Cause life’s like a jump rope!
I wanna tell you that everything will be ok, that everything will eventually turn itself to gold.
Keep pushing through it all. Don’t follow, lead the way. Don’t lose yourself or your hope.
‘Cause life’s like a jump rope!
and the song has got a a great beat, which always made skip instead of walk. So that song kept me skipping through all the downs this week. And I don’t give up hope that all the negative will go by eventually :-)