To be more exact: my screwed up central nervous system is calling a time-out. Multiple sclerois really sucks. Even though I have to admit my body – and that means every part of it – could really use the time to recuperate after the busy, busy last few weeks. Maybe I really overdid it with all these various activities. But I don’t want to put my life on hold and not do things others than work, just because every other acitivity might possibly sometimes affect my health. What kind of life what that bei? And I think after 10 years I know when to slow down and take a break. Or maybe I still don’t? I don’t know. And maybe the MS attack was caused by anything else or by nothing special at all and the MS just got bored and wanted to kick my ass again.
Ok, I stop whining in a bit. It’s not that bad at the moment after all. My neurologist, who I saw for the 3-months-appointment this morning, couldn’t even find solid proof that it is a new (or recurring) attack. But it’s s not just in my head (although, that’s exactly where it is, but…. well differently). He trusts my jugdement and if I have a “pins and needle” feelings in my feet and leg, than that’s what it is. Paraesthesia as the expert would call it. This time it feels like I’ve got sand in my shoes or as if I’m walking barefoot on the beach. I maybe could have lived with that alone or would have waited a few more days for it to pass on its own. Which it never does and I should have learned that by now.
But over the weekend the pins and needle feeling moved up my right leg as well and it feels like I would wear a very tight pair of tights. When I sit it feels as if I would sit on a piece of clothes or a cushion that actually isn’t there under my thigh, but it just feels like it is. Does that sound paranoid? Well, it took me a whole day of trying to straighten my clothes / the cushion whatever until I realized that there is nothing wrong with the fabrics around me. That my brain is just playing tricks on me again. Livid tricks though *sigh*
I got the first round of corticoidsteroids IV this morning and handled that quite well so far. Let’s see how the rest of the week goes. At least I now will have the time (maybe not all of the energy but definitely the time to do some of the household chores ;-) ). Not today though. Today I will recuperate and be lazy, before I go to the local movie theatre to see a documentary tonight. Tomorrow I’ll be at the movies again, watching the “Prince of Persia”. What was that about slowing down and taking a rest ;-)? Well, I can rest all day and movies are meant for recreation. So all is well…
You know what one of the coolest things about you is? You show what it’s like to live, really live, with a disease. You’re doing more in your spare time than many perfectly healthy people I know.
Awww, thanks. What a nice thing to say. Like I wrote in that post: What kind of life would it be, if let this disesase (or just the fear of a severe decline in my health) keep me from living my life. Jed Bartlet didn’t let it stop him from being POTUS either ;-)