The whole Mid-Blog-Crisis or maybe I should have called it Blog-Blues I wrote about last week? Yeah, it’s still going on. But I might have figured out the main reason for my reluctance or inability to write a new, interesting, whatever blog post at least: I’m just so busy at work and thus most evenings come home exhausted and unable to come up with a coherent, original or new thought.
These past few days I had and still have a stupid cold that’s dragging me down. I cough and sniffle and even though I don’t have a real headache, my head still doesn’t feel ok. It’s almost May and I hate being stuck with a winter-season-like cold at this time of year. It just sucks big time. Today didn’t feel like spring around here anyway, which sucks just as much. I’m so over this weather by now. [I checked my blog’s archive a few days ago and found out that I was venting about bad weather last April as well. I even called it the most april-y of all Aprils. I honestly didn’t remember that *g*]
It was my birthday on Wednesday and for me a birthday is always a day to look back on the past year and think about what has changed for good or bad… Quite a lot has changed for me this past year and all of those changes were for the better, so it obviously had been a good year :-). Looking back on it, it seriously baffles me that a whole year has past so quickly.
At the end of April 2012 I had just applied for the job I’m doing right now. It was a first attempt to find out if I’m qualified enough for this kind of work. I had no idea what would come from this application but I honestly never expected it to work out soooo well. I had no idea to what extent my professional life would change. That ignorance probably was for the better, because I don’t know if I had gone through with this application if I had expected to have a serious shot at that job. Yes, sometimes I let my fear of the unknown future ruin things for me. So it’s been a good thing that I had been ignorant a year ago.
I still worry too much about how much I could mess up or think I did mess up at various aspects of my job and I know it’s a kind of self-destructive behaviour, but at least I notice it more often than before and sometimes I can stop myself from letting my mind go down on the spiral of self-flagalation. I should concentrate on the good things and the projects that are started successfully or which are going well instead of worrying about the few things that might not go as well as I had hoped yet. But sadly it’s not that simple for me. I wish I could be a more upbeat and optimistic person, but I’m not. Or at least not as much as I wish I were. But I’m working on it.
° ° ° °
Another nice surprise (sort of) was that my daily dose of Outlander on my birthday included some of my favourite Jamie moments from “Drums of Autumn”, the book I’m listening to at the moment.
A Highlander in full regalia is an impressive sight – Any Highlander, no matter, how old, ill-favored or crabbed in appearance. A tall, straight-bodied, and by no means ill-favored Highlander in the prime of his life is breathtaking.
He hadn’t worn the kilt since Culloden, but his body had not forgotten the way of it.
And then there was the whole scene in which Jamie disagree’s with Claire’s idea of him being a good man. It breaks my heart every time, but in a good way, if that makes any sense.
[All quotes from “Drums of Autumn” by Diana Gabaldon, © 1997 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved]
° ° ° °
I had actually planned to also include photos and a few tidbits from my hockey team’s season farewell party, but I’m too exhausted right now and will end this post here. I haven’t had time to check my photos to see if there are good ones at all.