Jumble of Thoughts 019

Ok, I’m giving the jumbled thoughts post another try, before I’ll go to bed. Freaking early once more, but I can’t help it. I won’t even try to go to sleep right away though, but listen to an audiobook for a while.

  • Work is weird at the moment. Not necessarily all that bad weird, but I’m in charge of more things than I usually like to be. And then there all the sympathies and loyalties (which should go both ways) that are sometimes rather difficult to sort through.
  • I’m rather determined to continue my attempt to get a Master degree (via distance education university). I just need one more class + special termpaper + thesis, which all in all is still quite a lot to do, but I’ve already finished all the other classes between 2007 and 2012, when I started a new job and just didn’t have  the time to study for real. But I’m determined.
  • I’m also rather determined to participate in NaNoWriMo once more this year. In English, again, even though I had thought writing in another language broke my neck the first time. But I just can’t think and envision and plan and write a story in German anymore, it seems. So why should I try? It’s MY novel after all. Nobody else will ever have to read it. But it’s so hard to let go of that “be rational, write in your first language” thought in my head. But my muse isn’t talking in German to me, so how should I write a story in that language?

  • On the same note: I sometime think that I read/write/think in English much more than I do in German these days, which is weird, because I’m a German, living in Germany. The judgy part of my brain (the “inner mean girl” as Amy Ahlers so brilliantly named it) is not amused about that. But I shouldn’t care, should I? I decide not to for now :-)
  • I catch myself being rather judgy (is that even a word?) about a lot of stuff recently. And I don’t like that about myself. I judge myself (of course), but quite often a lot of other people as well. I’m not saying these things out loud, thank God, but I still don’t like hearing these thoughts. It’s just not nice. I guess I always kind of did that, don’t we all, at least sometimes? Please tell me, we all do. But I’m a bit proud of myself that these days I realize I’m being a mean judgy bitch in my head and try to think nice thoughts. Or at least neutral thoughts. It works ok with thoughts about other people, now I just have to learn to adjust these thoughts about myself :-)
  • I read a few tweets / posts about “About Me” pages, which made me want to update mine right away, but I think I need more time for that and to put some thought into it.
  • Next week my I will finally get my car horn fixed. At the moment I can’t honk when my lights are turned on. (Don’t ask!) With the dwindling hours of daylight every day I’ve got the lights turned on most of the time and it sucks that I can’t honk at the jerk cutting me off on the highway at the moment. (So much for my attempt to be less judgy)
  • My Twitter Feed reminded me that the new season “The Voice of Germany” started today. I love the show, except for all the hysterical screaming of friends and families backstage.
  • There were a lot more random thoughts on my mind, but these should do for now. I think :-)
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