I don’t know why this thought crossed my mind this afternoon. And I don’t know to which extent it really is a factor to why I feel overwhelmed at work more often than not these days. And maybe this all (me writing about it) is tainted by a meeting this afternoon which left me drained and full of self-doubt (and self-loathing) again. And my low self-esteem is
maybe probably the biggest “issue” in all this.
So, without having any real data on it, I would say that the workforce in my department is about 50% female, 50% male and I like that just fine. But recently I’m in charge (or “co-charge” at least) of various inter-departmental (is that a word?) projects and by now I realize that the female/male ratio looks very different in other departments or at least it does on the level I’m involved with.
Which by now often leads to me sitting in meetings and working together with men mostly. The business department, facility management or IT. It’s all men. All the time! And it’s really starting to get on my nerves to always be the only woman in a room. It’s not that these men are sexist or rude or anything, we get along fine. But it still often feels like kind of a men’s club. Add my self-esteem issues and a “healthy” dose of male self-esteem and you might get the idea. I know my skewed self-image might be part of the problem, in the way that I feel much more scrutinized than I should be. But I can’t help it…
Oh, well, maybe I just had a bad day today and I won’t mind it all that much again tomorrow :-)
[MicroblogMondays started at Mel’s blog]