Because I’ve been messing things up,
And I’ve been letting you down,
I’ve been getting it wrong for far too long,
I’ve been lost more than found.
(Little Changes ~ Frank Turner, 2018)
During the day I started jotting down various thoughts I might share in another “Daily Journal Style” kind of post. But in the end today it all comes back to a podcast Frank Turner (yes, again!) did for the “Minds over Matter” section of Union Jack Radio some time ago. I listened to it on the way to work. And once more on the way back, because it opened my eyes to quite a few issues. About Frank (which is not the point here) but about myself. About how the few personal issues like
- self-doubt (bordering self-loathing)
- worrying
- procrastinating
- giving up too easily
- spending too much time either rehashing the past in any good or bad way and/or too much time imagining the future in any good or bad way
and some more might be interlinked and feed back to each other and create an emotional and mental mess every once in a while. And that I should really start to actually figure some things out. That just listening to songs that sum up the state that I’m in and thus offers some comfort or validation doesn’t really help in the long run. I’m too lazy to go back and exactly quote Frank from the podcast. But I had this “Dude, you might have a point there.” moment in my car on the motorway this morning. Which is not the best place to have an epiphany. But I made it into work unscathed…
I’m not quite sure what I will take away from that, besides getting down with some of the many different self-help books I’ve acquired over that last few years. Taking better care of myself. With little changes, like getting enough sleep. For real! Like right now!
I’ll keep you posted….