So try and get better and don’t ever accept less.
Take a plain black marker and write this on your chest:
Draw a line underneath all of this unhappiness,
Come on now let’s fix this mess.
We can get better, because we’re not dead yet.
(Get Better ~ Frank Turner, 2015)
It’s been a while since I posted last. Or not really, compared to other silent stretches on here in the past. But everything’s different in pandemic times and I have posted a bit more regularily since it all started. Lots of “OMG I can’t believe this”, but that’s where my head was. Still is in some ways.
This past week has been another weird one. I kept sort of busy with office work, though so many or even too many things made me feel overwhelmed. I was thin skinned and snappy and just not in a good mood. I’ve got the next week off from work, because I still have so much vacation time left for this year and I have to take it at some point. I doubt I’ll be going on any vacation this year, not abroad anyway and I have no idea if and when we’ll be allowed to travel inside Germany either. This prospect still drags me down quite a bit. The further prospect of no real gigs this year as well. It all still comes in waves.
I had a particularly crappy day yesterday. Public holiday in Germany so basically the first day of my vacation. I spent the first half of it mopey, lethargic, unfocused, mindlessly dawdling on my phone for hours. Too stuck in my own head. In the afternoon I finally dragged my sorry ass off the couch and outside for a walk and that was quite nice.
In the evening Felix Hagan did “All Requests Friday” and that was the highlight of the week. Highlight of the whole three weeks I’ve been stuck at home to be honest. Yes, Frank Turner’s online gigs are special as well, because it’s Frank playing some of my favourite songs, being his lovely self, bantering with his wife, showing off his cat. Felix on the other hand is much more of a surprise regarding set list and anecdotes and such. Last night of course the big question was: what songs is he going to play. And he had such a great set of songs and he is so talented and it was so much fun. Check it out for yourself on his Facebook Page. Frank’s online gigs these days feel very familiar, which makes them so comforting. Felix gigs are exhilarating and that makes them such a positive boost. Perfect combination guys, thanks for making Thursday / Friday my favourite days of the week by now.
I don’t know if it was the Felix boost or my own insight that it can’t go on like this that made me be rather active this morning.
- I went for the next walk/run from my Garmin training plan.
- Did my third MPC workout.
- Deleted all the social media apps from my phone’s start screen to make it a bit harder for me to mindlessly check them. Which worked quite well today so far.
- Meditated.
- Had a proper 6 feet apart visit with my mum and brothers for a bit.
- Had a lovely long video call with friends in the UK. Which left me with a recommendations for a book I’m planning to start reading after I’ve posted this.
Originally I had planned to watch “Love Wedding Repeat” tonight, but I guess I’ll keep that for a day where I might need a bit more mind numbing entertainment. I read a good review, which makes me want to still watch it even after I wasn’t too convinced by the trailer. But right now reading feels like the better activity for my brain to engage in. Though while I’m in the process of posting this a friend reminded me that Runrig are exclusively sharing “The Last Dance” on Youtube right now. Only now and it will be taken off after, so I might at least have that on while I’m reading. Possibly.
Tomorrow I will hopefully also get back into the swing of reading a real (digital) newspaper. I’ve subscribed to one but the app stopped working properly on my phone some time ago which sucks. It’s a bit of hassle to read it on the tablet and to be honest my mind wasn’t ready to engage in any other news than the pandemic these past few weeks. But that can’t go on! The app seems to still be working properly on my backup phone, so… I miss being informed about stuff and I know it’s up to me to read news of any variety. I just couldn’t be bothered yet. I also couldn’t be bothered to go for a bike ride, but today I asked Bro3 to give my bike a check up so to speak, so I can take it for a spin one of these next days. Onward and upward, activity and mentality wise. I hope anyway….