03.05.2020 | Sunlight Uplands (At Least Metaphorically)

So don’t you worry, all things must end.
There are sunlight uplands around the river bend.
(Glorious You ~ Frank Turner, 2015)

I was in quite a slump for the last few days. And today only very slowly getting out of it. I postponed the scheduled run from Friday to yesterday (where I didn’t want to go out because it was raining on and off) and only this morning found myself moderately motivated enough. I did alright, possibly fuelled by the anger of some of the cyclists who obviously are unable unwilling to pass me with a 4 – 6 feet distance on a path 10 – 12 feet wide. And if you have to cycle in pairs at least break up the pair and file in a line when you pass me. On the other side of the trail not in the middle of it. Fuckers! 

I was also a bit annoyed with people on my quick trip to the supermarket yesterday morning, so maybe it’s more me than it’s them? Nah! People are stupid and I find myself turning into more and more of a hermit these days. Which is good and bad, I think. I don’t know. I know it would be much easier for me to deal with all of … THIS … if I myself would be a bit less anxious and worrying and be a bit more ‘Zen’ about things. I’m doing my best. I’ve used the Calm meditation app for over two months in a row now, so that’s something. Quite a few recently were quick sessions before I went to bed / the day is over. I need to get into the habit to do that more regularly as one of the first things in the morning. And even maybe do another session during the day. I thought about that yesterday,  when I got back from the trip that left me so annoyed. But then I picked up  the novel I had started reading and the story picked up and I basically spend the whole day glued to the book and it was marvellous. Not quite a meditation but a similar feeling. Forgetting about the world and worries and being fully present, if not in *my* present, at least being present in a fictional world and that’s just as wholesome and healthy in my eyes.

The book was “Come Again” by Robert Webb. I expected it to be a interesting, entertaining contemporary romance / drama story. And in a way it was, but it was so much more. It’s about grief in various stages, about friends and families and missed (and gained) chances. About new beginnings and old / new loves and an unexpected and action-packed spy plot. And with one last very cool, I thought, OMG moment right at the end. I absolutely loved it and I was very grateful for the distraction that kept me from being stuck inside my own head and from being too gloomy. 

As mentioned above today was a bit better. The run, a lovely video chat with friends in the UK. Getting a tiny bit of my to-do-list done. No chores really though. My flat still looks like … well, quite messy, let’s leave it at that. I also almost finished my “Live in Newcastle” review, which only needs a bit more a tweaking and will be up later today as well. Two posts in one day. Go Me! 


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