And I will find a way that leads from cruel April into May
(The Opening Act of Spring ~ Frank Turner, 2015)
How can it be May already? Where did the first four months of 2019 go? How can I have been ignoring this blog home of mine for so long? I blame work. And “Frühjahrsmüdigkeit”. And being or at least feeling busy all over. I don’t know if I really was busier than in other years or if I just had a harder time dealing with the various stuff that went on. At work, in local politics. In life in general. I don’t know.
I know I’ve been slacking too much in so many aspects of my life these past few months. By not working out as I had planned to. By eating much too unhealthy. By not being mindful enough and by spending too much time with useless TV binging and stuff like that. By not being mindful and thus not taking better care of myself that way. By not stopping myself quick enough from drifting off into negative spiralling thought patterns. By not keeping in touch with friends. And so much more.
The first 2.5 weeks of May I’ll be spending on vacation in one of my favourite places: Good old bonny Scotland and I’m planning to “come down” and calm down and recharge the best I can while I’m here. Starting by not freaking out or beating myself up too much for coming here much less prepared – plan wise – than on any previous trip. I have booked my accommodations of course and I have some ideas of what to do where. It all depends on the weather anyway, in May much more than in summer, I guess. But unlike all my previous trips to Scotland and even to Wales last year, on this trip now, I have no clear plan of what to do when and (exactly) where once I get to where I’ll be staying for a few nights. It feels strange and unfamiliar to go on a trip thus… aimlessly. On the one side I’m scared that I might feel overwhelmed by not having planned what to do each day. On the other side I’m cautiously curious what that will do to me. And I do have some fixtures planned after all.
Starting with the My Peak Challenge Event Weekend in Edinburgh. Even though I didn’t really follow the work out plan this year – and only half-heartedly in 2018 – I still consider myself a Peaker. Even if only in the sense that joining this program in 2017 brought on a few significant changes in my life. Not all of them stuck (I gained most of the weight back), but some definitely did. I see myself differently. I think about me (a bit) differently. I “conquered” Ben Lomond in 2017 and Snowdon in 2018 and that means something for this overweight and not really sporty someone. And even though my “My Peak Challenge” journey has been inconsistent, I never thought of just giving up. Not yet anyway ;-)
May has been announced “Challenge” Month and for a while I considered picking “bagging this or that Munro” as my challenge, but that felt like cheating as I had planned to do it anyway. So on a whim yesterday – at the first day of the month – I decided my challenge to be “significantly cutting down on my chocolate consumption”. Because I’ve been snacking on chocolatey stuff way too much and way too mindlessly these past few months. I hesitated to go “cold turkey” and give up all chocolate for the month. Yes, maybe just “cutting down” is the cowardly way out, but that’s the way I roll. And believe me to not buy a chocolate bar with my coffee or mini Jaffa cakes or Cadbury Twirls at M&S to snack on during the long way up from London to Edinburgh on the train took willpower enough. I allowed myself the three kind of chocolate mousse as dessert for my lunch and that was it. Small steps…
Another challenge is the “26.2 miles” hike, walk, whatever.
I plan to do that during my time in Scotland here and the mere walking around the city doesn’t count. Real hikes or walks. I think it’s doable, if the weather permits. Let’s hike and see :-) There was quite a bit more I had wanted to share, but the exhaustion is hitting me full force right now. 14 hours on trains is exhausting. Plus lack of sleep. Too much caffeine. Excitement about the weekend. No wonder I feel all hyped up…