You’re not as messed up as you think you are:
Your self-absorption makes you messier.
Just settle down and you will feel a whole lot better.
Deep down you’re just like everybody else.
(Reasons Not To Be An Idiot ~ Frank Turner, 2008)
On my way to work I listened to the “Love, Ire & Song” album, track by track, because I haven’t done that in a long time. It’s going to be played in full on the 2nd night of Lost Evenings next year, so I wanted to get a bit more familiar with it (way) in advance. I might do a album review of it at some point. Soon. Maybe.
“Reasons” is the 2nd song on this album and I think I needed to hear these words today. Like I actually think I do on a lot of days. It comes and goes, but right now I’m in one of those “Ugh! I’m stupid. I suck at my job. I have no idea what I’m doing. Can’t I just ignore real life for a bit?” low, that seem to hit me every once in a while. Without a particular reason even. I catch myself floundering and procrastinating and being too sensitive about stuff. About things people say or not say to me. And what they might have meant with either. I’m spending way too much time “in my head” and not in a good way. Self-absorption and worrying at full force.
A few songs later “Imperfect Tense” just drove the message home even more. Last year I wrote a post about that song and how I can relate to the lyrics in a weird way. My way of running myself into the ground might not be booze, drugs and partying, but just utterly mindless diversion like Social Media. Binge watching TV shows I have seen multiple times before. Daydreaming. Worrying. Being an utterly lazy, unproductive, unfocused slob on my couch. It’s not as physically harmful as drugs and such, but it doesn’t really improve my mental health either.
All day long today there were wonderful, encouraging, helpful messages on Twitter regarding mental health issues as it was #WorldMentalHealthDay (obviously). Which added to my determination to be a bit more mindful about my state of mind.
To try spending my hours less with mind numbing activities like watching TV.
To try being more productive/creative, even if it’s writing yet another blog post about how Frank’s music gave me the necessary boost. Or just helped me see things a bit clearer.
To remember the tiny positive moments each day. To even notice them in the first place!
To get enough sleep! I’m feeling much better if I’m not sleep deprived so why do I spend my evenings with meaningless activities instead of just going to bed?
But also try to not be so hard on myself all the freaking time. To Be More Kind to myself. (And others. But right now, especially to myself)
#MusicWasThere is another important hashtag today. And Frank’s always has been there in the past four years and I’m incredibly grateful for that.